I wonder...

i wonder how much does ones past tend to dictate their future
i wonder how often does effect the things that take place presently
i wonder how things would be if one could let go of the past and see things simply in the moment i wonder.....

Reputation

Reputation we all have one whether it be good or bad it's there. Early on we were taught the importance of reputation. Never do anything embarrassing publicly to tarnish the reputation of your parents for example. As I get older it seems that reputation is less important but can still be used as a deciding factor in some situations. For example ignorance seems to be the norm and nothing is taboo any more so everybody tends to just deal with whatever arises. But in matters of money or love no passes are given. My reputation involves sex drugs violence and gang affiliation. My reputation also has a college degree, volunteers in the community, raises children, and genuinely cares for the well being in my circle. Sadly that last sentence does nothing for me cause the sex drugs and violence take center stage. I wonder if that's y some fail to take me serious .....

She said

She said I was everything he wasn't 

She said I stimulate her in ways he doesn't 

She said she can't wait for her time be alone with me

She said I listen and pay attention to the things he doesn't see

She says all these great words to me but I'm here alone and she must get home to he.....

obeservation

If I initially approach her and shower her with compliments show up with flowers in hand open doors pull out chairs and be the perfect gentlemen I will be viewed as extra and running game. If I keep the convo general and basic discuss work and CNN and my degrees and accomplishments then I will be viewed as boring uppity and see centered also seen as making myself out to be more than I am. If I initially hit you inbox with what's ya name bra and panty size etc I will be viewed as thirsty. Now here is where the shit gets interesting so follow me closely. Attempt number one was genuine and not appreciated simply written off as a joke. Attempt two was a chance to see if maybe her response to attempt one was a fluke and maybe just maybe we can connect on a intellectual level. Attempt three came about as a result of her horrible handling of attempts one and two so hell I might as well go for the pics and see if I get lucky while I'm at it. The saddest observation of all the situation is that she fails to acknowledge that her actions or lack there of will affect the that he approaches women from that day forth. Something to think about ......