Monday, December 2, 2013

Dark Thought

Dark thought aint healthy but here lately its become common and necessary. After playing nice, being tactful and considerate with negative results it shouldn't be hard to believe my mind begins to entertain thoughts that are ridiculous and ignorant. Like what if each problem could be solved with violence like if it was ok to go out and just riot. Make a mess cause constant mayhem so they can know the angered state that I seem to stay in. To set fire to the institutions that trained us to be this way. Tear a hole in the set of norms they established and by the end of the war maybe see a brighter day. Sick and tired of taking this and that just cause. Being understanding simply because they say "that's just what he or she does". Angry to the point of destruction because the lack of honesty and loyalty is beyond disgusting. Caring not about the big picture at all just that I see the demise of every one and every thing that has wronged me in the slightest way then reality kicks in and I go on about my way ...

Well well well

Some where along the way I lost the interest and energy to exhibit certain feelings like empathy and sympathy because every time I do shit seems to end pitifully for me. Constant betrayal and repeated acts of contradiction have made it hard for me to care or even listen. Not to mention in my time of need the folks I help most be the first ones missing. its ok another lesson learned the hard way but change is on the horizon and doing shit from now on my way. At the end of the day well well well was all I could say

Monday, November 18, 2013


So many quotes and famous references made to time and the management of such yet we still seem to waste her so much. On things and people who dont deserve it chasing a dream only to find out it really aint about shit. Time the most precious resource we have yet we misuse and abuse her so bad but soon as the shit hit the fan we so quick to say what we would do to have her all back ...


Moments that were once sacred are now tainted simply cause the whole truth came out. It was memorable and what I thought to be the breaking of new ground til your secrets were exposed and shut that down. Now what everything I found to be wholesome and cool destroyed by lies and make me look like a fool. Sometime u win some times you lose guess karmas a bitch in red high heel shoes.....

Friday, November 8, 2013


We all heard it before the first step to solving a problem is admitting that there is a problem in the first place. Accountability is defined as : The obligation of an individual or organization to account for its activities, accept responsibility for activities. Accepting responsibility and acknowledgement are not one in the same. Acknowledgement is a great start but acknowledgement with justification and excuses doesn't equal ownership. Ownership is not a pity party either. I hate those victims that own the mistake only for sympathy, attention, or to soothe the other involved parties with no real intention of fixing the mistake. Growth and development require action to be successful. A man of woman who lack the ability to take ownership for their actions will never truly grow or develop to their true greatness. Excuses and justifications are the enemy of growth and progression. If you lie to yourself you will lie to others for sure. No matter what it is own it and proactively work on it til it is something you don't mind owning......

Friday, November 1, 2013

1st Corithians Chapter 6 Verse 12

"Everything is permissible for me"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"--but I will not be mastered by anything." I don't often discuss religion in any public forum but you don't have to be religious to follow me on this one. This section of the chapter is dealing with sexual immorality yet can be applied to any social setting and be equally beneficial. Growing up everyone said it, hell it was a weekly statement for some of us. If you dint say it you either lying or was a special case lol. What is this statement? I can't wait until I'm grown so I can do whatever I want. Even as adults when others tend to judge or disagree with our actions its a common defense; I am grown I can do what I please and I don't care who don't like it. Permissible is defined as permitted or allowed. By now we all know just because you can do it doesn't mean its good for you. People at the age of 18 and above are permitted to purchase tobacco. That doesn't mean that cigarettes don't lead to cancer and death. People 21 years of age and above are permitted to purchase alcohol but the consumption of alcohol in excess is linked to death or serious injury of people on a daily basis. Mom would always say what looks good to you isn't always good for you. Freedom is dangerous for some. Being allowed to or permitted blurs limits and overindulging can be the by product. Some things and or persons don't initially show themselves as non beneficial until its far too late. The person or thing used in excess usually is when it shows through as harmful and often times its far too late at that point. The writer also says "I will not be mastered by anything". I didn't interpret this as slave owner to slave type use of the word master but master as in control. We all talk about our independence and our ability to control what goes on in our lives but do we really have control? Sometimes we get so involved that we don't initially realize that we have lost control. Just because you weren't forced to do it or knowingly went thru with it doesn't mean you were in control. How many people do you think actively wake up and make bad decisions on purpose? Consistent events of poor decision making is usually a sign of lack of control. Whether its alcohol, drugs, sex or money we make excuses and justifications to appear in control. For some its fame and popularity that will have them living beyond their means merely to be accepted and viewed in a certain light. Its easier to justify things away then admit that you lost control. Choices and decisions or the lack of them usually determine the outcome of any situation. All things are not good for us simply because we can access them as we choose. Making choices and decisions that are beneficial to our well being is a great sign of being in control. You don't have to be a religious fanatic to find this particular scripture relevant or at worst thought provoking...

Living vs Existing

Living:the pursuit of a lifestyle of the specified type Existing:To live at a minimal level Two very similar words but not exactly the same. Though these definitions are very general they work very well for the way that I think. Of the two living is ideal. In order to pursue anything it takes action but if you are living at a minimal level how much resource to have for such action? Simply going thru the motions, having minimal success and growth is no fun for anyone. Proactively making choices and decisions in order to achieve a desired outcome is not always easy but surely it has to be more enjoyable than just existing. Everyone has a struggle and every one will have a unique battle that is meant for them to experience in order to live a lifestyle of specified type. I seriously doubt the desired or specified lifestyle that is being pursued is one of minimal gain or minimal progress. What are you in pursuit of and does your current situation really allow you to actively pursue it ? Are you living or merely existing? Do you know the difference...

The Jonah Complex

The Jonah Complex is the fear of success which prevents self-actualization, or the realization of one's potential.[1][2] It is the fear of one's own greatness, the evasion of one's destiny, or the avoidance of exercising one's talents.[1][3] Just as the fear of achieving a personal worst can motivate personal growth, the fear of achieving a personal best can also hinder achievement. Potential what a great thing to have. Some folks draw strength from knowing and having their potential recognized by others. Then there are people like myself that feel potential is merely a piece of the puzzle. Potential don't feed kids nor pay bills. I remembered being asked by Dr. Goodman many years ago "son do you have a fear of success" back then it didn't make much sense but in recent years I find myself revisiting this conversation. The Jonah Complex was one of the first things I found as I began to see if such a fear even really existed. I have been told many times before that I can be pessimistic at times, but if the end result of many situations always ends up with you taking a lost then pessimism may easily become the way you perceive the world in which you live in. If you take out a piece of paper and drew a line right down the center, labeling one side good one side bad which side would have the most data? Bad things that happen tend to stay in the front of your mind often detaching you from the belief that good things can happen. Why put my best foot forward? So others can take credit for my good deed? Should others benefit more than I do or for it to be abused and for granted? Is a thank you too much to ask for? We all heard it before "perception is reality". When struggling becomes the norm and losing becomes all too familiar to you its easy to lose sight of potential, and find no gratification in striving for greatness because the scars of previous attempts have yet to heal. Jonah complex or simply a phase time will tell........

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

old school love by lupe

Lupe has a new single titled Old School Love. The hook of this song really made me think. It says "it takes a long time yet happens real fast to realize that your future is someone else's past". Not only is it a dope lyric its real life. There is nothing new under the sun we simply repeat the cycle with our own lil changes. With being said its necessary to play close attention to as well as appreciate the struggles and sacrifices made by those who proceeded us. One day we will be elders repeating the same things that tye elders said to us. Its up to us to make sure our instructions and examples we set are worth repeating. ..

Nobody knows

Nobody knows the insecurity that you battle with in the dark. Nobody knows the tears of frustration you surpress on a daily basis. Nobody knows that the load you carry is far too much for you. Nobody knows that you dont feel they will support you the way you do for them. Nobody knows the struggles of another, even if they share some they will never share it all.Nobody knows everything about anyone person. The old saying do unto others as you would have them do unto you really doesnt seem to be common practice these days. When normal outlets no longer work and keeping so much pinned up will make you explode. Giving up is not an option cause it may me be all bad today but nobody knows what tomorrow may bring...

Monday, October 28, 2013

Serenity Prayer

The Serenity Prayer God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen. --Reinhold Niebuhr

Douuble Standards...

We all use them to our benefit when we can. We publicly denounce them but in private matters they're our friend. We justify them away as long we are not their victim. Interestingly enough I have and surely will again at some point be guilty of using a double standard to benefit myself. I had a interesting discussion on this topic today. Its crazy how it usually takes somebody else to point it out to us when we do it because we become so accustom to doing it. Double standards: a rule or principle that is unfairly applied in different ways to different people or groups. The key word is unfairly. We all say we want equality but as long as certain principles don't apply the same for certain people or groups equality is merely a thought. This can be applied in any social setting you can think of and if one party is given privelage over another it doesn't normally go over well. How can something so elementary be so complex? How can two parties do the same thing but for one its acceptable for the other its terrible? Sounds crazy huh, always remember everything we do in life is a choice or a decision you have an option as whether you want to allow double standards to exist no use in complaining about them if we choose to allow them...


Laying in the floor staring at the ceiling fan turn wondering why things are currently the way that they are and thinking what am I missing where is the lesson that is meant to be learned. We all heard the saying everything happens for a reason, or we should learn a lesson from all we endure. I get that but does struggles and negativity just come with the territory or does it too play a role and have a purpose? Purpose is defined as :the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists. 2. have as one's intention or objective. Some people will go to their grave never knowing their purpose. I hope that I am not one of those people. The unanswered question I battle with is how or when does one truly find their purpose for existence? Having tried my hand at many things and had success, how does one decide on which of these things is truly right? Is it a test I need to take or assessment some professional must complete in order to give me an objective? My thought is that by eliminating people and things that serve no purpose to your well being your true purpose may be revealed. Time wasted on people and things that lack an objective can't possibly be beneficial. I know we must take the good with the bad but it should never be all bad at all times in any situation. If you can find no reason as to why something was done or which it exist how can the experience be useful. Just something to think about .....

Friday, October 18, 2013


Enable : to give (someone or something) the authority or means to do something. Often times we make excuses and point fingers when something horrible happens to us. The other party involved is villianized. We play the role of poor harmless victim. That's one way to look at but if we take a step back and look at it another way we may be surprised what we discover. As an adult no one can make you do anything you don't want to. Nobody is responsible for your thinking or behavior. With that being said a lot of our situations are of our own creation. We enable certain things to happen by our passive responses. Its pointless to be upset about things you allow. Sometimes we are too nice we are afraid to hurt other peoples feelings etc etc etc . If we continuously accept any and everything some one does without any punitive or corrective action you are becoming a enabler. If constantly forget and over look and make excuses for somebody else mishaps you are an enabler. If you yell curse cry but still open the door for him or her you are a enabler. Its our own responsibility to set standards and rules to abide by in our lives that make us happy. If we constantly allow people to run over us maybe we should stop looking at there behavior and look at our own and what we did or didn't do which make them comfortable behaving the way they do toward us. A PERSON CAN ONLY DO TO YOU WHAT YOU ALLOW OR ENABLE THEM TO.....

Communication Pt 1

Communication is defined any act by which one person gives to or receives from another person about that persons needs, desires, perception, knowledge, or affective state. In order for communication to take place there must be a sender, a message and a recipient. We all know communication is vital to the success of any process. By definition it takes action on the part of two parties in order for the process to be effective. But here is where it gets tricky. Freedom of speech allows you to speak as you chose but if the intended recipient is not actively listening, does real communication occur? The message portion of the process is very important. When we behave emotionally instead of objectively some messages are lost in the midst of tears and other common theatrics. I prefer a clear and direct approach. Holding back, sugar coating issues and talking around a situation usually makes the situation worse and more complicated. Say what you mean and mean what you say..........

Monday, October 14, 2013


Invest has several definitions but two in particular stand out for me. One financial one social. Definition put (money) to use by purchase or expenditure in something offering potential profitable return. Definition 2 to use, give, or devote (time, talent, etc) as for a purpose or to achieve something. Investing is a risky business in general but more especially when its a matter of emotions. Profitable returns are never guaranteed in matters of the heart. When it is business investment its several tried and true systems of practice to study to protect your investment. Who is responsible for protection of emotional investment? We all seen scam artist make off with millions in ponzi schemes. There was a judiciary process for those victim to regain or retain their investment but how does one regain time talent emotions etc? Aggressive investing whether it be financial or personal can be devastating. The old saying goes think before act because investment of time talent and emotions that yeild no returns are a complete,lost money can be made again. Be mindful of who and what you choose to invest in.....

Friday, August 30, 2013


your constant lack of reciprication has lead to my resignation of  participation
your lack of consitency has awakened my eyes to tons of things tgat wer forgotten

Monday, July 22, 2013

I wonder...

i wonder how much does ones past tend to dictate their future
i wonder how often does effect the things that take place presently
i wonder how things would be if one could let go of the past and see things simply in the moment i wonder.....

Monday, July 8, 2013


Reputation we all have one whether it be good or bad it's there. Early on we were taught the importance of reputation. Never do anything embarrassing publicly to tarnish the reputation of your parents for example. As I get older it seems that reputation is less important but can still be used as a deciding factor in some situations. For example ignorance seems to be the norm and nothing is taboo any more so everybody tends to just deal with whatever arises. But in matters of money or love no passes are given. My reputation involves sex drugs violence and gang affiliation. My reputation also has a college degree, volunteers in the community, raises children, and genuinely cares for the well being in my circle. Sadly that last sentence does nothing for me cause the sex drugs and violence take center stage. I wonder if that's y some fail to take me serious .....

She said

She said I was everything he wasn't 
She said I stimulate her in ways he doesn't 
She said she can't wait for her time be alone with me
She said I listen and pay attention to the things he doesn't see
She says all these great words to me but I'm here alone and she must get home to he.....

Tuesday, July 2, 2013


If I initially approach her and shower her with compliments show up with flowers in hand open doors pull out chairs and be the perfect gentlemen I will be viewed as extra and running game. If I keep the convo general and basic discuss work and CNN and my degrees and accomplishments then I will be viewed as boring uppity and see centered also seen as making myself out to be more than I am. If I initially hit you inbox with what's ya name bra and panty size etc I will be viewed as thirsty. Now here is where the shit gets interesting so follow me closely. Attempt number one was genuine and not appreciated simply written off as a joke. Attempt two was a chance to see if maybe her response to attempt one was a fluke and maybe just maybe we can connect on a intellectual level. Attempt three came about as a result of her horrible handling of attempts one and two so hell I might as well go for the pics and see if I get lucky while I'm at it. The saddest observation of all the situation is that she fails to acknowledge that her actions or lack there of will affect the that he approaches women from that day forth. Something to think about ......

Thursday, June 20, 2013

ABC's of Me

Mainstream America does a terrible job of attempting to define me. The stories of hood fame and glory are just a piece of the story. Regardless what heard or think you know nobody can tell you about me like me so open ya mind pay attention and listen as I share with you the ABCs of me. A- Asshole not by choice but after some of the things I survived and often finishing last while being a nice guy you to would see why beings a asshole keeps me out the way. B Brilliant I am a fast learner well spoken and retain information very well C Cocky conceited and controversial at worse. If I ain't my own motivator how can I expect you to pay attention and controversy well that just come with the territory. D dreamer. I have ideas that could change the landscape of life as we know but till I get my money up I keep dreaming. E enticing I can be quite catch to be had and once you get a glimpse you stick around just to see how much more you can handle F Father my kids are my world and for them I will do anything and even though I biologically have two I make it my business to stand in the gap for other peoples kids praying all the while none of them grow up and do the stupid shit I did G greedy I never am content with the bare minimum I want more H hustler whether legal or illegal being broke is not an option I don't glorify illegal shit but reality is I know how to survive by any means necessary I interesting hell sometimes I impress myself so I'm sure I can make you think a bit J just I tend to call a ace a ace and a spade I don't live in a fairy tale world that makes excuses and justifies everything to my benefit K King as I know I descend from such I must remind myself daily that I am a king and conduct myself as such L Loving to those causes and people I deem fit for my love for you there is no limit to what I will do M misunderstood for many years I kept some of my greatest personal assets locked away followed societal norms and did tons of stupid shit to fit in when in reality I'm a need I just was exposed to a variety of street life at a early age and it stuck cause it was easy N nasty far beyond the age of bragging on sexual accolades but if ever have or had to opportunity to know me in such a way you will agree hahaahah O opinionated I have always been a outspoken militant guy and it often gets me in trouble but that's the only me I know to be P prideful though I have made many questionable decisions over the years I take pride in the little but of integrity that is left to be associated with my name Q quarter For many years I have used a quarter of my potential a quarter of my skills and a quarter of my talents o what at day it will be when I focus 100 percent of me into one thing at a time. R realistic I tend to enjoy reality no matter how ugly it can sometimes be. Besides lying and creating alternative reality requires too much micro management S strategic though no plan is full proof and most things never go exactly as planned going into any Thing without any plan at all is foolish. T tough as we all should be because as the saying goes only the strong survive. U useful whether it is small task or large ones I am never dead weight I can be of some help somehow. V victorious in 27 years I have fought with some demons and situations head on with no help and to be standing here free and alive to share this with you is a victory within itself W wise a old man once told me you don't get to be my age being a dumb ass. Wisdom has been defined as the application of wisdom. Daily I strive to apply the knowledge I have obtained to this point to minimize loss and frustration. X Xenolith noun a rock occurring in a system of rocks to which it does not belong. I bare a lot of similarities to my peers but if you look real close you will see I at times I don't belong. Y young though I grew up fast I am still fairly young at 27 and the best of me is yet to be seen. Z Zealous ardently active, devoted, or diligent to the continued growth of self the raising of my children and the building of my community. Now that I have shared with you the ABCS of me how accurate was your assessment when you first laid eyes on me……..

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Dont quit

Todays society is ever changing. Politicians still lying and dreams are being bought every day. Sadly iI have given in and allowed bsBS and negativity to stunt my growth. Things now days are no longer taboo with that being said there should be nothing that stop you from becoming the best you. Never judge success or progress thru the eyes of another. Never allow some one elseelse's thoughts dreams or fears to guide your life. Choices and decisions equal success or failure but to never try gives you no chance to succeed. Whatever you want out of life go do it and never quit......


Sometimes the qualities and the things they admire so much in me seem like foreign language or a mystery its crazy really to me. On a daily i wake up and strive to be the best that i can be, Yet demons of my past constantly pester me i guess we got to see what future holds but i swear i reached my pinnacle at like 13 years old the rest has just been a mess i made shine like gold ....

Saturday, June 8, 2013

I tend to live a crazy life that's probably why I don't have a wife but in the midst of all my bad I did just as much good. Exposed to reality at a early age all my life I simply wanted to turn the page. No need in running from the reality that is me cause everything I ain't made me that I am. As the days go by and time keeps turning each day I keep on learning ...

Tuesday, May 7, 2013


Truthfully I am nowhere the me I know I am destined to be. One side of me is about saving the community and being a positive voice to the next generation but that same voice is seasoned at manipulation and has often been used to manipulate women for money and sex yea I know this shit is complex. Never have I ever really had press up to survive my bare minimum of effort tends to be better than average yet I know that a focused me is nothing shy of great yea I know this struggle is complex. Doing my best left me sad confused and upset but while I was bullshitting I was happy had some change in my pocket and looked at my best yea I know this shit is complex. no man is without flaw and we all have our vices. I would probably be ready to kill somebody son if the ever introduced my daugters to the type of shit that I once did yea I know this shit is complex. Yet each day I arise focused on the prize that is yet to come while learning to choose my battles wisely all the while fearing none hoping that i enjoy sweet victory prior to a bitter demise. Hoping my gift is not also my curse and my deeds will be seen loved and appreciated by the universe yea I know this shit is complex....

Tuesday, April 23, 2013


Tryna make do with what I got but for some odd reason progress is limited. I never been a quitter fighting always came natural but i still feel stuck. Am i fighting to survive or is the struggle destiny idk but i feel stuck. I do all that I can to help other not for gratification but thats what we pose to do yet I still feel stuck. I aint planning on quiting but man i sure hate to feel stuck...

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Kaci K

It's crazy to see you all grown up and doing big things. I am so proud of you and your biggest fan as I see so much than you can do. Congrats on the milestone as you are very well deserving of all the accolades. This is just the beginning and success is all that will be expected and or accepted of you going forward. The top is the destination so get ready and know your bro will be right there to aid and assist lets get it lil buddy...

Should I

Should I adore you the way I do
Should I think of you as much as I do
Should I consider the ideas that I do as they pertain to you
Should I let go and let be
Should I even feel that you would even check for somebody like me
Should I just stop thinking and sit back and see what this will be
Should I .....

Sunday, March 17, 2013


Tho i know where we stand often times i have random thoughts that revolve around you. For instance the mentioning of ms badu has instant connection to you. Regardless of what is or what will be you are always going to be simply amazing to me and hopefully as you reach the pinacle of greatness i be able to smile and celebrate your accomplishments ...

Monday, March 4, 2013

never never land

Sometimes in the midst of the day i take second to think and drift away. Lately the trip my mind goes on is short and never sweet. The place i land is never never land. In this dismal place nothing ever works as planned. Never never will i get ahead never never will my load be easy to bare. Never never will you to take time to care . Never never will truly find success. Never never will you ever be respected and treated as the beat. Never never will your love and kind giving spirit be reciprocated. The crazy thing is never never land is starting to feel like less of a dream and maybe I never never leave

Wednesday, February 27, 2013


INSECURITY [in-si-kyoor-i-tee] Show IPA noun, plural in·se·cu·ri·ties. 1. lack of confidence or assurance; self-doubt: 2. the quality or state of being insecure; The key world in this definition is SELF. Self doubt meaning a problem that you have for whatever reason.We all have them for one reason or another. They not bad completely they actually can motivate us to do better and the end result of conquering them will only better us. I have conflict though when your insecurity becomes a issue for me. I have conflict when your insecurity makes my already complicated life a lil more complicated. Don't allow your insecurity to ruin a good thing or stunt your growth as a person. If you scared to overcome said insecurities then its no longer a insecurity but a character trait as you have adopted it into your daily life. Nobody deserves to be tortured as a result of things created in your mind that are not true. If you insecurity is that great and that important then maybe I should just allow you and your insecurities time to bond and go on about my day cause as it stands nothing i do or say will help them go away anyway...

Monday, February 25, 2013

Caution vs fear

Caution is a great concept. Only a fool will fear caution as they are lost with being engulfed in choas. But there is a big difference in caution and fear. Fear is possibily the trickiest emotion in the world. For some fear is a ally as it motivates and guides their thought process and often times saves them from themselves. On the other hand it traps some and allows them to trap themselves in a box mentally and emotionally. They rationalize and settle for the saftey of things and situations which are familiar other than make attempts at something new. Fear guided decision making is dangerous as you find yourself wasting the most precious resource ever time. The time lost while in this box can't be retrieved and the realization of this lost time usually leaves a more bitter taste than that of failure acoompanied by maxium effort. Caution on the other hand is more logical to me. The use of caution can lighten the blow of failure as you didn't allow yourself to get in too deep. Strategy and caution rank high in my book of things we need to know master and practice daily. A fearful man will never try to be great simply settle for what is safe. A cautious man will strategicly way all factors while attempting greatness with certain built in fail safes in the event something goes wrong. Try hard and smart or settle and suffer...

Saturday, February 23, 2013


I am not against change as we know change is needed as we dont wanna be left behind the times. Evolution is a natural part of our world. The conflict I jave is when you change so much you necome the people we use to dispise. No sense of self yet you go thru the motions as if you are in control. Lost in the sauce god forbid he/she leave you cause you burned thw bridges in ya pursuit of whatever the fuk you pursued. Once upon a time it was us vs them now u a them but even know you are. You nonchalant arrogant responses are insulting and sickening as I have sacrificed many things and much time to look out for the home team but you jump ship with no remorse

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Am I my brothers/sisters keeper...

Am I my brother/sisters keeper if so why is it my attempts to keep them keeps me in the middle of conflict? Gracious and helpful intentions misunderstood as picking sides and tolerance. Though I disagree with what you say and do sometimes but isnt my responsibility to right or wrong be of aid to you? As time passes and what little good that is left to be associated with my name instantly becomes questionable cause I took one for the team. Losses on the name of loyalty hurt more when loyalty is not reciprocated and I stood to gain nothing to begin with. Good bad ugly or otherwise know you can count on me cause you never had a friend like me but the million dollar question is can you be the same to me .

Monday, January 14, 2013

I rather...

I rather have a dedicated enemy than a sometimes friend. I rather have a broke sensible friend than a rich one who is out of touch with reality. I rather have my sanity and integrity than fame and fortune. I rather die as a result of giving my all than to live miserably having not tried at all. I rather stand alone for what I believe than have have a following based off false hope. I rather suffer the pain of my mistakes than point the blame at you. I rather be silent than speaking another to their demise. I rather die today than forever live a lie. I rather see you live than help you die. I rather teach you a skill than allow you to depend on me in order to survive. I rather......


Without this we are lost. Without this nothing we do will work. Without this we will repeat the same cycle. Without success is merely a word. Without this dreams amd goals turn to fantasy. Without this recklessness will consume us. Without this we are lost. FOCUS

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Everything I'm not made me everything I am

Its so easy to get caught up in failure. It hurts and usually drowns out everything else happening at the time. As I grow I have learned that failure and defeat are not so bad. Struggles and adversity are needed to appreciate victory. Adversity builds character. The key is finding lessons in those struggles. The struggles dont define me the lessons learned do. Everything I'm not made me everything I am and it ain't over yet judge me by my progress...

Saturday, January 12, 2013


Sometimes circumstances are beyond our control. The circumstances we can control we must not take for granted. The minute we do we become victims. The circumstances that arise and seem chaotic really can be managed simply. All variables that you can control and disclipline is the key.

Thursday, January 10, 2013


The reason I once loved you so much is no longer the case. Politics and fame is all the craze no real reverence for the craft at all. Microwave process yet we wonder why nobody is running to join us. We do afew things to make ourselves feel but no real out reach yet we say this is all about charity. I question the passive district we be become and you villianize me and stunt our growth for years to come .....

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Cold world

Its a cold world we live in when once uppn a time wholesome folks only motivated by dividends or things that only tend to benefit them. Morals values loyalty and friendships must take a backseat caise right now all I care about os ensuring that I eat. No care in the world bout my fellow man if they aint doing for me they ain't doing for me they have no purpose in this plan. After it's all said and done what u value most is a loyal friend....

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Self control

Self control can save ia a ton of mistakes. Simply saying no or walking away can keep your stress level down. The lack of self control can be the demise of anyone. Dad always told me think before you act...

Friday, January 4, 2013


There is a difference between being selfish and one being pro self. There is nothing wrong with lending a helping hand but one must draw the line somewhere. I can only be of assistance to you if I in right relations with myself. The more intrest I place in learning and truly knowing me the better off I will be. When you dont do as others believe you should then they label you as selfish. The reality is if they were pro self then they wouldn't always need you to make sense of things on their behalf. Being pro self should be priority for all of us the best me should promote and require the best of all those I encounter. If me being pro self saves me money headache amd drama amd you still see it as selfish then maybe I was an enabler to your bs amd you should begin to take steps to become pro self...

Thursday, January 3, 2013


Ideal can be defined as the ultimate object or aim of endeavor. Ideal is it. Ideal is what perfect is for you. So i pose the question, as it pertains to relationships how does one discover what is ideal? Its like a social experiment everyday to maintain a healthy relationship. No two days will be exactly the same. How can a relationship be ideal if it is forever evolving on a daily basis? True as in any experiment there will be constants that never change which give you a steady foundation from which to build but those can change sometimes too. Ideal or perfect or whatever you believe to be best suited for you could be the very things that makes me not wanna be around you. Do couples that survive in fifty sixty year long marriages begin to adapt the others ideals? That would seem like the only logical answer to have a similar seidea of what ideal is and work in unison to achieve the same goal. Heres whete this concept and defition gets tricky for me and end with one simple question How can i be the ideal mate for you if i have yet to achieve the ideal me ? Just something to think about

Wednesday, January 2, 2013


I hate when people make excuses and justify their own stupidity. Just because I don't choose to be involved on ya craziness doesn't mean I am judging you just means I don't care tp support you and your bs. Having my own opinion on the way things work is not a judgment. Justifying bs by blaming others will only stunt your growth and trust me sometimes it leaves scars